Every year, I try to convince myself that it is the ultimate restart/reboot/refresher/whathaveyou. Key words here are: try to convince. Maybe it’s because I know it too well that refreshers can only go so long. That when March comes or when June is right around the corner, we all know (unless you keep a journal on ya) that all of our ideas about our restarts are all but forgotten. Why? Because we are humans. It’s that simple.
But, does it stop me? Nope! Is it going to be different this time? I sure hope so.
I plan to make 2017 my year. I plan to make it more about me and less about other things. I live and love to make other people happy and comfortable, but this year… I intend for it to be a little different.
For this year, I will:
- Leave something for myself.
- Learn to speak up without struggling so hard.
- Value my feelings, just as how much I value others’.
- Realize that I deserve more in this life.
- Recognize my full potential.
- Leave some people behind and ask myself, “what have they done for me, really?”
- Focus on learning more about myself rather than trying to learn ways to bend for others.
- Not feel guilty for being a little selfish.
- Take what’s mine. Life is so short.
- Stop being okay with finishing last.
I’m not saying that this time, I will aspire to become a self-centered, class-A arrogant human being. NO. What I want for myself this year is to refrain from constantly thinking that I don’t deserve good things to happen to me, that I don’t deserve recognition and adoration. I need to start recognizing my worth and what I can really bring to the table. I also need stop feeling so guilty when I do things for myself. I believe that once I begin, I will start having the confidence that I’ve always lacked. And that once I accomplish my little goals, life will have a new-found meaning.
My life has always been about putting my family first, putting my friends and other people’s opinions and feelings first. I can’t wait to change that. I feel like this is one New Year’s resolution that I will continually work on.
I am happy, always have been. I’m happy when I’ve made sure everyone around me is, I’m happy when I make my bosses happy and I’m happy when Wolfgang is extra happy.
I guess… all I’m trying to say is that… I just want to know what it’s like when Duane’s really happy. That’s all.
Happy 2nd day of the year!